every time i hear the phrase ‘real stud’ it usually refers to the most masculine of woman. the woman that has erased the most characteristics of being a feminine woman. i’m almost overwhelmed by the irony. the very idea that the less you are what u are the more real you are at something else. crazy stuff.

fact of the matter is. a stud is a completely made up concept. hell, we all know that if u look up stud in the dictionary, the first thing u read is that it’s a horse! then it’s a virile man. ok, so we hijacked the second definition and applied it stereotypically to a woman who has a specific style. that’s cool. honestly, i like the term stud. of course in other areas and groups they are butch, doms and aggressives etc. i even heard somewhere they’re even called machos. whaaa? *shrug* ok. whatever works. but the language is not what i’m discussing here. that’s another post for another day. right now it’s the definition of the terms. when referring to the stud what does it mean? and what makes her real? or not real?

what defines a stud varies from person to person. so there can’t ever be a real one because what’s real to one person gets diminished by another. if a stud does something that is considered “gyrlie” then she loses her stud card. but we all have to agree on what can safely fall into the general gyrl category and the gyrlie gyrl category. can a stud wear lip gloss, thongs? i say yes, of couse. cuz my definition is more of attitude and thought process rather than outward appearances. clothes are just clothes. someone else would beg to differ.

so i’m scratching my head every time i hear the phrase ‘real stud’. “she’s not a real stud” “that’s not a real stud”. well what the hell is? and who gets to make up these rules? it all seems rather silly to me. when a female is born. she’s a categorized as a female simply based on having a vagina. that’s it. before any examinations take place. before she is given a name. she comes from her mother and the doctor says “it’s a gyrl”. that’s it. she doesn’t have a swagger. she’s not lookin for her lipstick. so as time goes on, and that gyrl gets to know herself amidst this kooky society and ever changing culture. she creates a definition. simultaneously, the outside world gives her a defninition. sometimes they match sometimes they don’t. but if the general idea is the same why nitpick over lil details? how u gon tell someone they’re not real? if they’re standing b4 you. they are real. if it’s real to them. then that’s all that anyone can ask for.

I recently read a blog about a butch woman wrestling with her identity due to the fact that her breasts were growing. And I had heard on many occassion that someone said that butch womyn don’t have breasts. Once someone stated very specifically, that studs aren’t supposed to have breasts. Whaaaa? How the hell is that possible? I wondered. Studs are womyn. Period. Just cuz they identify with the more masculine side of their persona does not mean that their hormones cease to work. I guess that means they’re suppsed to will it to be huh? smh. Is this really what’s going on out there?

This idea that breasts aren’t supposed to be there suggests that studs are not supposed to be womyn. And anyone that deals with them aren’t supposed to acknowledge their womanhood. I immediately imagine these womyn’s bedrooms and ASSume that their pillow princess gyrlfriends lie there and pretend that her breasts and vagina don’t exist. My vivid imagination sees studs with bodies like a mix between ken and barbie. no real discernable features on their genetalia.

It seems that the emphasis on breasts are placed upon us by our male dominated society. Cuz apparently, we are going in the total opposite direction. But are tits completely unnecessary to the lesbian woman?
Now as much as I like a dominant woman, that doesn’t mean that I don’t like the “woman” side of her. And that does include the physical parts of being a woman. I love my gyrl’s cha-chas and would never be with a woman who taped her stuff down or didn’t allow me to appreciate them. Not the most important part of a woman but it is a part of a woman and therefore should not be ignored.