I met Maxx in 2008 when she volunteered for the 2009 Hard Candy Calendar. Not really knowing her that well, I gave her the icon Muhammad Ali as inspiration. I had no idea how much of a fighter she was.  I called her The Champ for her photoshoot and that is who she’ll always be for me.  She continuously expressed a desire to come out and do another shoot for this year’s calendar no matter how poorly she felt. Always ready and willing to be there and help us out as an organization and as personal friends, she will live on in our hearts and minds.

It is because of her and people like her that this project exists. The promotion of pink products and p.s.a’s and such is over but the fight continues on.

So the Chris Brown/Rhianna story is burning up the internet, the radio and the television. While I haven’t really weighed in on the topic myself I have lurked and observed many conversations about it. It seems the the topic has sparked a small war between men and womyn. The resounding cry amongst females is that men shouldn’t hit a woman uner any circumstances. Whereas men feel like if they’re attacked or even provoked, they have a right 2 defend themselves with any amount of force. Wow. Everyone has a solid set of “rules” when it comes 2 men and womyn. But what of domestic vilolence between same sex partners?

Of course domestic violence occurs in lesbian relationships. Seems that many gays knows someone who knows someone who’s been thru it. A few brave souls will admit 2 their own participation. But for the most part, its something that isn’t discussed. We pretty much say that no one should put their hands on anyone and leave it at that. Well that’s an easy dismissal. And an unhelpful one.

The reasons why the gay community is silent on the issue of violence between partners are plenty. Lesbian victims seldom report violent incidents to the police because many fear prejudicial treatment. Also, in cases of same-sex violence, police often assume the abuse is mutual and are more likely to arrest both members of the couple. Battered women’s agencies also may not be open to serving lesbians.

A typical domestic violence shelter is prohibited from taking in a lesbian, let alone a gay man. This is because shelters are generally set up to respond to what state statutes define as domestic violence.

Same-sex couples are always excluded from obtaining a protective order in seven states (Arizona, Delaware, Louisiana, Montana, New York, South Carolina, and Virginia) and often excluded in three states (Florida, Maryland, and Mississippi). These states either limit protective orders to opposite-sex couples or usually interpret the law to apply only to opposite-sex couples.

I imagine that some of these laws will have to be amended when(if) gay marriage is legalized. But we should not have to wait for that to happen just to get the basic right of protection from harm. The domestic partner benefits that many states do allow should automatically be extended to protection from abuse. The fight that we have is not only in our homes but in society. We as a community can not be silent about a matter as important as this.

Reach out to your sisters

Raise your voices and

Reduce domestic violence