Queen for a Gay
Queen Latifah’s quote in Shaun Robinson’s book made the rounds on the Internet under titles like ‘Queen Latifah tells author she’s staying away from men?’ or ‘Queen Latifah Says Sex With Men Is Gross’. The obvious spin put on the information is not new. The public has been speculating on Latifah’s sexuality since forever. The quote is question is as such:
She tells Shaun Robinson in a new book about female empowerment, “I [used to] ingratiate myself to him [men] and then sleep with him [them]. Afterward, I felt disgusting- really gross and nasty … and I hated myself. That feeling was so horrible, I decided I would never do that again.”
It has been (mis)interpreted as her saying that she had given up men. Tho’ even as a gay woman I was able to step back and see that she may have meant that she wouldn’t do it under those circumstances. I get it. I want the quote to be a confession. I admit it. But why? Is it a simple case of queen setting off everyone’s gaydar very chance we get we try to find a gotcha moment to silence the noise? Or is it much more than that?
I know that I’ve mentioned many times before that we just don’t have any visibility in the black gay community. The desire for someone, anyone to come out as black and gay is strong in most of us. And to have someone with the status of Oscar nominated, ever so popular, ever so positive Queen Latifah come out as one of the family would be such a huge boost. It would be so incredibly uplifting. And we do need uplifting. But getting a step up in society at the resistence of someone else is not the way to go. I think that we should leave Queen Latifah the hell alone. I’m bored with it. I can’t see why no one else is. Sure I get the vibe from her but that could also be wishful thinking. Wishing for validation from a society that just doesn’t see me.
But that shouldn’t come from someone else. She’s not our queen so we can’t decide to claim her just cuz we want it. Changes can (and will) be made. By us. By going out and being out every day of my life. By encouraging my sisters in the life to do the same and slowing but surely, they’re eyes will open.
